Larry Deutsch, 1942-2010
My dad died today.
I wish he had lived longer.
But Dad was an amazing man, a force of nature (as my aunt Myra said). He did so many things. In his medical career, he was the the American dream come to life, leveraging his empathy with patients and his business talent and his awe-inspiring energy for endless hard work into a high climb through the economic classes. In his politics, Dad was too wise, and maybe too sweet-hearted, to expect others to bootstrap themselves the way he did.
My Dad loved Judaism with a passion, studying hard and then just as passionately teaching what he knew to others. He loved a good joke, and — as my email inbox can attest — many not-so-good jokes. He wrote poetry and loved music, especially the music of Bob Dylan, which he knew like an encyclopedia. Sometimes it’s hard for me to see my father in myself, but I look at his Dylan collection — countless CDs, books about, books of poems — and inwardly I see the large wall of comic books in my home, and I know our venn diagram circles are overlapping.
Dad was enormously, unfailingly, almost ridiculously generous to people who needed his help. My mother said that the only thing that ever truly made him unhappy was a problem he couldn’t fix. Isn’t that a wonderful way to be remembered?
He loved cooking. He loved good wine. He gave me more second chances in my life than I can count. He was so, so proud of my book. He loved his friends (who have gathered around my mother in the last few days like the warmest, most protective blanket imaginable). He loved his family.
He loved me and my sister and her husband and his two beautiful grandchildren. Most of all, he loved my mother.
The final diagnosis came less than a week ago, and I wish there had been more time for Dad to say goodbyes. But he died in his sleep, looking peaceful, surrounded by his family, Bob Dylan playing on the stereo. Nicely done, Dad.
God, I wish he had lived longer. He should have lived longer. But my Dad was a great person who lived — who built — a great life, not just for himself but for so many around him. And that’s something I’ll remember with great joy. Which is what a life like my Dad’s deserves.
Photo: Larry Deutsch and Toby Hirschberg, who would later be Toby Deutsch, in 1959.
24 Responses to “Larry Deutsch, 1942-2010”
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I’m sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a really great guy, and someone you were glad to have known in this life.
I’m sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a really great guy, and someone you were glad to have known in this life.
Baruch Dayan Emet. Thank you for posting and sharing your feelings. May you find comfort and support from your friends and family.
Baruch Dayan Emet. Thank you for posting and sharing your feelings. May you find comfort and support from your friends and family.
I’m so sorry. I only met him the once, and he was, as you say, warm and generous and very, very proud of you.
I’m so sorry. I only met him the once, and he was, as you say, warm and generous and very, very proud of you.
I remember meeting him when he took us all out to dinner when you graduated. He was a very kind and gracious person and I’m very sorry for you loss.
I remember meeting him when he took us all out to dinner when you graduated. He was a very kind and gracious person and I’m very sorry for you loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing man!
I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing man!
Baruch Dayan HaEmet. (Blessed be the true Judge). I’m sorry for your loss, but what a lovely remembrance. May Hashem comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
Baruch Dayan HaEmet. (Blessed be the true Judge). I’m sorry for your loss, but what a lovely remembrance. May Hashem comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
My condolences, Barry. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones.
My condolences, Barry. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones.
Oh Barry, I’m so sorry.
Oh Barry, I’m so sorry.
I’m terribly sorry to hear that, Barry. My best to you & your family at this difficult time.
I’m terribly sorry to hear that, Barry. My best to you & your family at this difficult time.
I am so sorry about your Dad. I have just discovered Hereville and have read it with my daughters. The beauty of the world that you have created came in part from him and I am so grateful to share that warmth and beauty with my children. We aren’t Jewish but your book really spoke to us. We wish we lived in Hereville where everything is so imbued with meaning and culture and community seem so alive. You book is so very warm and funny and presents a multi-generational picture of what parents try to accomplish for their children. Thank you Barry and especially thank you Larry for being such a loving Dad to your son. Our family hears your grief and like your father we wish there was some way that we could make it better
I am so sorry about your Dad. I have just discovered Hereville and have read it with my daughters. The beauty of the world that you have created came in part from him and I am so grateful to share that warmth and beauty with my children. We aren’t Jewish but your book really spoke to us. We wish we lived in Hereville where everything is so imbued with meaning and culture and community seem so alive. You book is so very warm and funny and presents a multi-generational picture of what parents try to accomplish for their children. Thank you Barry and especially thank you Larry for being such a loving Dad to your son. Our family hears your grief and like your father we wish there was some way that we could make it better
I’m so sorry about your loss. I appreciate you sharing this beautiful dedication to your father. He sounds like an amazing man, a blessing to know. He will live on forever through the lives of those he touched, starting with his family.
I’m so sorry about your loss. I appreciate you sharing this beautiful dedication to your father. He sounds like an amazing man, a blessing to know. He will live on forever through the lives of those he touched, starting with his family.
Thanks to everyone for your well-wishes; they’re really appreciated.
Thanks to everyone for your well-wishes; they’re really appreciated.