“Hereville” reviewed on Webcomic Musings

On August 5, 2008 · 16 Comments

muppetmouth.pngSimon at Webcomic Musings reviews Hereville. The review is positive, but critical. He thinks my muppet-like jaws are a bit too much, drawing most of his examples from the early pages. I have to admit, I agree with him about that; especially in the first 20 or so pages, my devotion to big muppet-like mouths goes too far (if such a thing is possible!), and prevents me from using appropriate expressions. (In my opinion, anyhow.)

Simon is also critical of the Shabbos sequence:

The plot looks like it will be an interesting one; it’s the first I’ve heard of a Jewish dragon-slayer, much less one who looks to be about twelve or so (unless I’m mistaken, which I often am). The upshot of this is a unique viewpoint for the main character and a really novel setting and personality for people. The downside of this is that right as the Marilyn Manson impersonator reveals how Mirka can get started on the path toward dragonslayerhood, the plot gets interrupted for The Great Muppet Shabbat.

(A side note: challah is delicious bread, and I wish I lived closer to a Great Harvest store so I could buy it more often, but after seeing this page, I will spend the rest of my life checking my loaves of bread for ethereal possession or possible interment of small young girls.)

The downside of any comic that cuts the action in order to present a tidbit of information in earnest (as opposed to Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams novels, which play such up for laughs) is that the reader generally feels cheated. It may be interesting, it may be essential, but it’s not what the reader came for. It’s like when I went to Subway recently and they mixed my order up with another person’s, so I ended up with roast beef and mustard instead of peppered turkey and mayonnaise. Sure, it was still a good sandwich, but it’s the principle of the thing.

Steven Bergson, of Jewish Comics Blog, emailed me:

I understand his point, but personally I not only didn’t mind the “interruption”, but enjoyed it. I don’t think one has to be Jewish to appreciate that section of the story, but when one is Jewish (even if non-observant), one understands that in “real life”, shabbos is a kind of interruption, but one that (usually) one looks forward to. Mirka isn’t the type of character who would ignore shabbos just to hunt trolls (there are priorities, after all) and I think it would be dishonest to purposely leave out shabbos from her narrative since it is an important part of the character’s life.

I can see both their points. I wanted to really get across how central and important shabbos is in Mirka’s life (and the lives of most folks who live in Aherville). And I wanted to “show, not tell” — hence, many pages were devoted to shabbos. But it’s one of the things that I know could throw some readers off, so I certainly understand Simon’s criticism.

Anyhow, thanks to Webcomic Musings and Simon for his review, and to Steven for his thoughts.


16 Responses to ““Hereville” reviewed on Webcomic Musings”

  1. Like Simon, I’m often frustrated by authors who interrupt the action of the story for world building exposition, and doubly so if it’s to tell me a bunch of unessential info about an “interesting” real world culture that the author clearly feels I need to be educated about. In the case of the Shabbos sequence though, to me, it really did feel more like character development than just world-building–we need to understand the culture to understand the characters, and the fact that even our heroine would consider Shabbos more important than her quest tells us so much. I didn’t feel tricked at all–given the world setting, I thought I was getting exactly what I signed up for.

    I will grant, though, that the muppet mouths do occasionally get a little excessive, though.

  2. Like Simon, I’m often frustrated by authors who interrupt the action of the story for world building exposition, and doubly so if it’s to tell me a bunch of unessential info about an “interesting” real world culture that the author clearly feels I need to be educated about. In the case of the Shabbos sequence though, to me, it really did feel more like character development than just world-building–we need to understand the culture to understand the characters, and the fact that even our heroine would consider Shabbos more important than her quest tells us so much. I didn’t feel tricked at all–given the world setting, I thought I was getting exactly what I signed up for.

    I will grant, though, that the muppet mouths do occasionally get a little excessive, though.

  3. Ray Radlein says:

    I didn’t find the Shabbos sequence to be an interruption at all, but that could be because I only discovered Hereville a couple of weeks ago, meaning I read all the way through the sequence at once. Drawn out over an extended period of real time, I think I would still have liked it just fine, but, obviously, it’s too late to run that particular experiment.

  4. Ray Radlein says:

    I didn’t find the Shabbos sequence to be an interruption at all, but that could be because I only discovered Hereville a couple of weeks ago, meaning I read all the way through the sequence at once. Drawn out over an extended period of real time, I think I would still have liked it just fine, but, obviously, it’s too late to run that particular experiment.

  5. Barry says:

    Well, I agree, obviously. 🙂

    And Alex, that’s exactly what I intended with the Shabbos scene. But it’s one of those things that some readers just won’t enjoy, and I understand that.

  6. Barry says:

    Well, I agree, obviously. 🙂

    And Alex, that’s exactly what I intended with the Shabbos scene. But it’s one of those things that some readers just won’t enjoy, and I understand that.

  7. Simon says:

    Very good points made. I hadn’t entirely realized that the Shabbos sequence was also building Mirka’s character – perhaps I wasn’t paying the right kind of attention. I guess I’m used to a different style of narratives, emphasizing plot at the expense of characters. Definitely something for me to consider.

  8. Simon says:

    Very good points made. I hadn’t entirely realized that the Shabbos sequence was also building Mirka’s character – perhaps I wasn’t paying the right kind of attention. I guess I’m used to a different style of narratives, emphasizing plot at the expense of characters. Definitely something for me to consider.

  9. Zvi says:

    I like the idea of this unique comic and am completely supportive.

    My 2 – pfennigs? shekels? 🙂 follow:

    First the positive I think that the weekly rhythm of Shabbos could become a very interesting unifying theme over the course of a long story arc; it is something that could, over time, give this comic a unique character and a flavor all its own.

    However, if I may give my feedback, I found that the Shabbos scene both interrupted the flow of the story and, because it did feel like an interruption, distracted me from the introduction of Shabbat, which I think will be almost like a recurring character in its own right, one that is only out of sight but not out of mind during the rest of the week.

    The feeling of interruption could potentially have been reduced by making Shabbat less of a surprise to the reader. A hint of foreshadowing or the prior establishment of a sense of time could bridge between the “timeless” quality of the first part of the story and the sudden introduction of the weekly rhythm.

    Also, the Shabbos segment felt like an interruption because it contained no evident plot development – rather the opposite. Even if the characters were enjoying the break, the reader was waiting to get back to the story.

    Finally, I would suggest being patient and introducing Shabbos gradually. You will have plenty of time to add layer after layer as days and weeks flow by.

    Regarding the mouths and other features, I don’t see any issue. The art style of most web comics evolves over time as the artist experiments and becomes comfortable with the characters’ appearances and expressions; it’s far too soon to know where you will take this! 🙂

    Anyway, this comic is an exciting idea. Best of luck!

    צבי

  10. Zvi says:

    I like the idea of this unique comic and am completely supportive.

    My 2 – pfennigs? shekels? 🙂 follow:

    First the positive I think that the weekly rhythm of Shabbos could become a very interesting unifying theme over the course of a long story arc; it is something that could, over time, give this comic a unique character and a flavor all its own.

    However, if I may give my feedback, I found that the Shabbos scene both interrupted the flow of the story and, because it did feel like an interruption, distracted me from the introduction of Shabbat, which I think will be almost like a recurring character in its own right, one that is only out of sight but not out of mind during the rest of the week.

    The feeling of interruption could potentially have been reduced by making Shabbat less of a surprise to the reader. A hint of foreshadowing or the prior establishment of a sense of time could bridge between the “timeless” quality of the first part of the story and the sudden introduction of the weekly rhythm.

    Also, the Shabbos segment felt like an interruption because it contained no evident plot development – rather the opposite. Even if the characters were enjoying the break, the reader was waiting to get back to the story.

    Finally, I would suggest being patient and introducing Shabbos gradually. You will have plenty of time to add layer after layer as days and weeks flow by.

    Regarding the mouths and other features, I don’t see any issue. The art style of most web comics evolves over time as the artist experiments and becomes comfortable with the characters’ appearances and expressions; it’s far too soon to know where you will take this! 🙂

    Anyway, this comic is an exciting idea. Best of luck!

    צבי

  11. Dani says:

    I, personally, didn’t feel the Shabbos piece was an inturruption, but I will agree that its introduction was a bit abrupt. However, it did so much to expand the world our heroine lives in that I can’t imagine the story without it. But then, I’ve always been a huge fan of detailed world building.

  12. Dani says:

    I, personally, didn’t feel the Shabbos piece was an inturruption, but I will agree that its introduction was a bit abrupt. However, it did so much to expand the world our heroine lives in that I can’t imagine the story without it. But then, I’ve always been a huge fan of detailed world building.

  13. Alex says:

    I actually thoroughly enjoyed the Shabbat sequence. I’m not Jewish, but I come to comic (and fiction in general) to look at the world from someone else’s point of view. For me, Shabbat is as fantastic as novel and fantastic as fighting trolls, and I enjoyed the chance to have insight into that experience.

  14. Alex says:

    I actually thoroughly enjoyed the Shabbat sequence. I’m not Jewish, but I come to comic (and fiction in general) to look at the world from someone else’s point of view. For me, Shabbat is as fantastic as novel and fantastic as fighting trolls, and I enjoyed the chance to have insight into that experience.

  15. gridsleep says:

    Oh really? You didn’t know Merlin was Jewish, then? Tas t’vats sa.

  16. gridsleep says:

    Oh really? You didn’t know Merlin was Jewish, then? Tas t’vats sa.

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